5 Daily Habits that reduce my Anxiety

5 Daily Habits that reduce my Anxiety:

For years, I just accepted that waking up with a pit in my stomach was normal. I figured the racing heart beat and worry was just a result of me being an entrepreneur & divorced mom of two girls, just life. When I started implementing one habit, I noticed those feelings of overwhelm & worry start to ease a bit. That ease became addicting and I started chasing that feeling - which led to a handful of new daily non-negotiable that now make up my daily routine.

1: MORNING MATCHA & READING

Now, I think it’s more than just matcha & a book. It’s the flow & the process.

You and I both know how stressful mornings can be. I remember it clearly: the dread of the alarm, the pissed off energy that would flow through your body the moment it interrupted your dream, the aggressive snooze attempt after attempt… after attempt - and then a fuck, I overslept. You burst out of bed already feeling behind as you pour a cup of coffee, get dressed, hustle all the kids out the door as you hold in frustration and dive into the morning traffic. If you work from home, trade the traffic for paralysis behind your computer or the annoying gaze on your zoom meeting. I get it.

I had to stop and think about how my morning was flowing (and causing anxiety) and how I wanted it to flow. As an entrepreneur, I get to work from home and still have the obligation of getting my teenagers awake/out the door on time. I knew that meant at 6:45a, the flow would be noisy and interruptions & distractions would be flooding the house. If I wanted to have a more peaceful ease to my morning, I needed to wake up before that time and prioritize myself. I imagined myself sitting in the dim-lit living room as the sun started to rise. I had a growth-focused book in my hand because it felt like a motivating way to start the day and a cup of warm matcha in the other hand. In order to make that vision a reality, I decided to set my alarm for 6a every morning and allow myself to snooze once, because I’m a silly human. After my snooze, I roll over and allow Archie to wake me up even more before he busts off the bed making his little lion noises, as my feet hit the floor. And we’re off… 30+ minutes of uninterrupted morning flow with a growth-focus.

2: JOURNALING

This single habit has shifted my entire life. That sounds dramatic, I realize, but it’s very true. If you haven’t read: The Power of Writing it Down - I 10/10 recommend if you need to be convinced. I’ve also got an entire mini-course created around journaling & my strategy, created after I realized how life-changing this habit was. Truth be told, prior to 2020, I never journaled. I could give you a snap shot of my life and how anxiety/worry-filled it was and then paint a picture of today, the transformation is unreal. Even now, I find joy in looking back and reading my old journaling entries. It’s eye-opening to see such sadness on paper and acknowledge where my head is at today.

Journaling not only eased my anxiety by helping me see the truth in a mind full of made up scenarios, but it gave me clarity. Journaling helped me rebuild confidence in myself and trust in the process, it helped me paint a vision for my day and the future and allowed me to see how doable it was. Journaling helped me tap back into my creativity and goal-setting. This habit has become my go-to for anything that I need help with, clarity on, or a solution to. While in therapy, I take notes of things that come up and areas that I want to dive into more on paper. When resistance comes in, whether at work or in my parenting, I grab my journal and get curious on where it’s coming from. Journaling has allowed me to get out of my head where thoughts tend to fester, and on to paper to identify what my actions (or stillness) needs to be.

I’ve journaled in the mornings, mid-day, and at night. The time of day is irrelevant, do what works for you. The habit is what’s the most important.

3: MOVE MY BODY

Sounds like such a chore, doesn’t it? I’m not going to lie, after 10 years in the fitness industry I started to get a bit bored with my same old routine following the same structured programs. If it was “day 34” then in my mind, the only option in my day was “day 34” and it started to feel a bit mundane and boring. One thing I know is that if I don’t enjoy it, I start to dread it and if I’m dreading it, my body feels that discomfort. As I started to feel the need for a shift, I realized I needed to shift my idea around what workouts looked like & I began to think about the highest version of me.

That highest version of myself, what would her daily movement look like?
Walks with Archie (my dog) and heck, maybe even a run!

Wait. Running? Am I a runner? My future self is a runner?!

Okay, let’s try that on. *orders running shoes on Amazon*

What else?

She’s a yogi.

Wait. I’ve never been a yoga person - are we sure about this?

Let’s try it on and see what happens.

*starts yoga workouts at home and signs up for one yoga class a week*

One day at a time, practicing mindfulness and listening to my body, I’ve started to fall back in love with my redefined movement. Try it on: what would your highest self do?

4: PAUSE

These little pauses kind of happened organically. After I finished my morning movement, I would make my post-workout shake and sit outside. I would sit for 2-3 minutes, close my eyes, tilt my chin up and let the sun penetrate my face. I’d feel the warmth, let little goosebumps form on my skin as the wind blew, and listen to the sounds that surrounded me: cars, planes, dogs barking, people talking… I took it all in. I’d migrate inside to start my morning work block and find myself traveling back outside for these little pauses during my 15 minute breaks between one-on-one calls. Then, as I ended my work day, I took my dogs on a 30 minute walk, leaving my phone in my pocket on silent, and enjoyed an extra long pause as I practiced being completely present.

These little pauses allowed me to show up to the next block of work more relaxed and focused. At the end of my work day, the longer pause and mindfulness helped me transition out of my busy, chaotic, hustle or the work day by flipping my lens. I could then shut work off and leave it off as I winded down my evening with my kids, focused on dinner, and settled in for the evening. It felt like the strings that typically pulled me in 100 directions had finally been cut.

5: SOCIAL MEDIA BOUNDARIES

Now listen, before you ignore this last part - give me a minute. I’ve been plugged in to social media for the last 12 years, every day, because it’s my job. Do you know how addicting these little devices are!? Of course you do. So not only was I having to be on it for 3-4 hours/day for work, I was getting sucked into it between work to-dos, procrastinating on it while I was trying to be focused on other tasks, scrolling on it while I would take my dog outside, catching up on stories as I made dinner, and saying goodnight to it as my eyes closed in bed. I don’t care who you are, that plays a big role in the anxiety and discomfort that we feel every day.

One of the biggest things I get asked is to share more of my evening routine and that’s so hard for me because: Rule #1 - no social media. When I shut work off, I shut off social media as well. I make myself disconnect while I’m on my walk with the dog and while I transition into dinner time. I’ll sometimes post the picture of my walk because it’s part of my messaging for my work, I’ll sometimes share a dinner pic, and then I sort of - disappear. My evening routine and wind down is just as important as how I start my day and the number one thing that would previously cause me to stay up late is TV and social media. I’ve created hard PM boundaries around both because like most humans, I’ll get sucked in and stuck. I choose to create a different reality.

Yes, it’s one of the hardest boundaries and habits to create so start small. Start with boundaries around evenings or put a time limit on yourself. This boundary felt so good that I decided to give myself and entire day off of social media. Sundays are my Silent Sunday where I don’t log on, I don’t scroll, I don’t browse, I don’t DM -  I’m silent. It took me a few weeks of this before my finger stopped having a mind of its own, trying to open the app every time I grabbed my phone. Now, Sundays are the day I look forward to the most. Silence, presence, and calm.

Now - go try one. Don’t attempt to try all 5 of these things and then get pissed at yourself for not being consistent. Pick one. Start with one and try it for a week to see if you find the same feelings start to ease.