How do you find what SHINES for you?
There are two quotes that come up as I start to sit down and write.
The first I'll probably butcher as I've seen it on memes all over social media:
"We often feel tired, not because we're overworked but because we're doing too little of what brings us joy."
And the other, I read in a book recently, Think Like A Monk:
"Our lack of gratitude is what makes us feel unloved."
The combination of these - and many others - make it crystal clear to me that too many of us are going about our day doing what we're supposed to do, with little regard to what we want to do, what makes us happy, what fills our cups, or puts a smile on our face.
I've been down some dark spirals remind myself of everything I've done wrong, relationships I've lost, things I should have said differently... That alone can be paralyzing, especially if you stack it with a healthy serving of self-doubt and negative self-talk. While this daily feeling is what caused me to silence a lot of distractions in my life, it's still something that can creep back in to our head throwing us off.
I would sit, crying, alone, thinking what in the hell is wrong with me?!
I want to challenge you to change your language a bit with me today and instead of thinking What's the matter with me?!, I want you to think, What matters TO ME?
This simple language tweak has shifted a lot for me and I believe that it will for you also.
I stopped (please do the same) to make a list of things that brought me joy. Like real happiness. The things that when you close your eyes, pop in, and are followed by a smile. What is that thing or things that you could do every day? What do you daydream about? Who's in that daydream? What do your surroundings look like? Your home, your day, let's uncover it.
For me, a few things popped up:
Working out
Cooking
Plants
Nature
Reading
Puppy Play Time
... I'll stop there for the sake of time. But you get the idea. Now, let's uncover it a bit more:
I love working out, but not because it's a workout, because it's my time. This time recharges me, it allows me to move my body, blast music, wear fun clothes, bust out dance moves, be silly, and just be me.
I love cooking because I love to eat and I also enjoy creating pretty meals on plates. I don't take 100 photos of them anymore, but the act of filling a plate, as silly as it sounds, brings me joy. I send a little smirk to each plate before I eat, almost a "thanks for letting me create you" - I know, it's weird.
I love my plants. I can't tell you how many times I walk from room to room just to look at them. Thanks to my friend, Rooney, I've got a home stocked full of plants. Chad knows my love of plants so much that he recently gifted me several books about house plants, styling them, caring for them, and more.
I love being outside. I think a big cloud came over me as I approached the Winter season here in Denver. My excitement to move into this home was based a lot on the fact that we now have a yard and when realized that I would lose my afternoons in the garden, I went dark. Seasonal depression is a thing, I know, but I could really feel this lack of connection when I wasn't outside each day. Now, being outside is a priority for me, the fresh air, the sun on my face - even if it's 10 degrees - my soul needs it.
I love reading.
WHOA. I honestly can't believe I typed that. Who am I?! Prior to 2020, I could count on one hand how many books I've read in completion. That's not something I'm proud of but reading wasn't something I ever enjoyed. Until I started ignoring suggestions from outside influence and made a shift to listening to what felt like a yes. My mindset and habits are completely transformed thanks to some of the books I've been able to dig into, and the mornings when I get to sit with a puppy on each side of me, book in hand, are my favorite.
I shared on my social media that I've learned a lot about creating consistency simply by having the two puppies we have now. Archie & Dexter are a handful but they force me to be HERE and NOW. I won't lie to you, it was a hard adjustment as I stubbornly tried to force my perfected and comfortable schedule onto them, only to have it destroyed in front of me (or pooped on my floor). I've adjusted and tweaked, intentionally allowing myself to be more flexible and in the moment.
I'll leave you with a few questions to ask yourself:
1. What's your current routine and how can you make it more fun?
2. What are your outlets?
3. What are some activities that bring a smile to your face?
4. What could you do today that would create a lighter mood for you?
5. What do you wish you could do more of?
We are constantly looking for an escape in life, something EXTERNAL to bring more peace INTERNAL. What I've realized most, is that the internal peace we want is already in us... all of us. It's just clouded and shadowed by a lot of outside influence.
Let's clear the noise.
